Robert Frisk
Glebe, NSW
Associated Press

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After 24 hours the situation here in Glebe is just as dire as it was yesterday. The stalemate has continued with neither side making any progress forward. The Spider has retreated about 18 inches back from the front but he’s still there. Still disgusting. Still waiting to pounce. It seems the OttoSean Empire has constructed some sort of poor man’s Maginot Line: a towel was placed at the base of the door to prevent any incursions into OttoSean-Controlled Area; there have also been reports that chemical weapons were brought up to the front. The situation is in fact escalating and it’s only a matter of time before one of the two sides does something incredibly rash.