One of my favourite news stories of 2007 has to be the jackass pictured above. A couple weeks ago Amanda came home from work and I asked her if she’d heard about the shark attack at Bondi Beach which was all over the news. She hadn’t. So I told her the story of the guy who was bitten by a shark, but survived after fighting it off, who then passed out on the rocks overnight and was found the following morning by his girlfriend.
Amanda thought the story was weird. And after saying the words out loud, so did I. I mean the girlfriend doesn’t find him ’til morning? No calls to the police or some sort of search and rescue squard? In the days that followed the full story came out. There was no shark. Just some criminal who thought he could get away with a huge lie (it would have been the first shark attack at Bondi in 70 years). The cuts were in fact sustained when he “damaged a window.”
This guy, however, was not so lucky. He actually was bitten on the ass by a shark just a day before he was to be a best man in a wedding! A more superstitious man might wonder about “omens” or “signs” but I won’t. Nope. Being nearly eaten by a shark the day before a wedding is not a metaphor of any sort.
Then back at Bondi an endangered shark was killed in a shark net. This was followed by shark sightings at Palm Beach on Boxing Day. Of course, being summer holidays, all these shark incidents, real or not, has led the media to declare this summer the Summer of the Shark and airing empty news stories like this one.
Remember, you don’t have to be faster than the shark. Just faster than the person next to you.